I have been invited to be a guest on a podcast in the new year. In preparation for this, I was asked a few questions about my work. In attempting to answer them, I was met with many different feelings in my body about my worthiness to actually be interviewed. After all, I currently see my life on pause or even “falling apart”. Maybe it is fairer to say I am in a place of reassessing how I want to do meaningful work moving forward. So many possibilities arise when I can be in that place of unknowing and trust that I don’t know who I am or what I am doing some days. I’m not clear or polished. So, why me? I laugh and say, sure! I’d love to put my vulnerable ass – I mean my *self – out there because after all, this podcast is about ordinary people doing extraordinary things. And, somehow, the host feels like I would be great—I’ll go with it. Maybe it is because, people could relate to my efforts to find my groove.

Ha! So, in preparation for the podcast host, I answered a few questions like:

1. My background—
That was relatively easy to answer. This was my short and simple off the cuff response:

“Founder of Blairs Herbals, life long student of energy modalities including Healing Touch and Earth centered body work, mother of 3 boys-now young men, nature enthusiast, artist, writer. Can be found in hot springs, on mountain trails, and road tripping to experience the mundane and richness of life.”

2. My work—
Ohh that was a tough one. I sat thinking for quite some time. This is my answer:

“I am having trouble with the word “work”. My life expression is my work. I don’t see a distinction between my energy practice, art, and life. This takes me in so many interesting directions not to be limited in this construct of a disciplined named profession. One day I am camping under a blanket of stars or hiking in the foothills of Boulder and a poem comes to me, the next day, I am called to someones house at 8pm to help a client in need with a hands on treatment and I feel the appreciation for my role as a trusted and valued village community resource. Another day, I make a homemade nourishing meal for a client or family in need. Every day is full in its own special way. Magic is happening all the time in my outdoors world. I recognize I need variety to my day. I can offer my gifts from that place of connection to myself and something bigger than myself when I am in nature. I wouldn’t be found in a cubicle —that much I can be sure of. I am learning how to “be” rather than be so darn busy “doing” and am trusting my own inner guidance and knowingness more and more which I find truly exciting. It keeps me in my core values of truth/transparency, and bringing beauty and health forward in others. I have life experience being a mother and around end of life care and all things in-between, so all this helps me to be alive and in my joy and to be exploring from the heart and listening/touching more deeply into what really matters. To be witnessed and touched in ones physical, emotional, and spiritual pain is important so sometimes my “work” if you will happens on a table, sometimes on a walk, sometimes at the end of a phone call, and mostly in a creative out of the box kind of way because there is such creativity that can happen when I don’t try to have a set idea of how a “healing” should look.”

I took my first Reiki class for my own anxiety as a new mom about 10 years ago now and then that opened me up to be curious around different ways to connect with Spirit. Then onward, the rabbit-hole of this class and this workshop and the re-certifications and additional requirements to fulfill… Mind you, this has been a long and not so easy journey. My pain has been able to be touched and transformed little by little through self-care and my saying yes to trying new things and stretching in my art and singing, dancing and writing outlets—to find my voice and to be voice for those who may not have found theirs yet. I am in a continual process to heal shame and unworthiness – because life is short and if not now, when? I want to be in service in this way. BTW— my love of ritual, dream time, and astrology help my purpose and give me tools for self development and affirmation that I’m on the right path.

Welcome to my unique, special, humble, and extraordinary appreciation for my hard-to-define life. My direction is a bit circuitous but I do have an eye on the end point. I think.

Really, I am most grateful for your loving feedback which course-corrects me now and then.

Stay tuned though for more information on this podcast! My clients are my greatest gifts and they ground me in continued compassion and gratitude. I love how they call on life’s real, raw and deep questions. They open my eyes, change my life, and give me daily purpose.

Thank you for being a gift!!!