And here I am with another opportunity to reflect on the many blessings of my year. It never gets old. Everyday is an opportunity to pause and remember all the gifts in and of my life. Of course the ones that rise to the top over and over are friends, family and health.
Traveling Dashboard Art Show
I just rolled into Boulder after five weeks of an adventure of sorts—stretching myself—in my heart, body, mind, and soul. I ran a half marathon, spent hours of alone time in nature, and car camped. I did stay in a shared house situation for a bit too.
I found plenty of time to hear my own thoughts and watch my mind. I found space to cry, to process what I need to consider moving forward, to rest, make art, to spend hours outdoors in nature, to meet fellow artists, to dance under the stars, to bathe under the moonlight, to go barefoot, to feel all the feels. And, for that I am most grateful.
The books I took with me were Francis Weller’s—Well of Sorrow and Dr. Northrup’s Ageless Goddesses. I highly recommend them both. They offered such support for meeting grief in the deep places with healing and life that comes from taking the time to acknowledge the many ways sadness shows up and wants to be witnessed.
Self care and self discovery. Self discovery and self care. Themes for my time on the road.
I went to bed and ate when I wanted to. I was on my own schedule. It felt strange not to cook, shop or prepare meals for others—just me. I’ll admit, sometimes, I just wanted someone to feed me. But, listening to what I was craving and paying attention to what felt nourishing was a step.
I sat at the beach well longer than I would imagine anyone would want to. I soaked in hot waters for hours. I didn’t have to compromise or settle for other. It was indulgent. So important. I realized that I have been in service and care taking for many years. Not that I have any regrets but it certainly is time to take care of Blair. To be unattached and free to do as I please when I please. To experience being untethered. Uncomfortable for sure since I have been in a 30 year marriage and in service to the roles of wife and mother.
Just a week before I packed up my car, a friend suggested we meet in the Paria Wilderness in Utah for backpacking and car camping. Heck yes, I said. I’m up for the 38 miles hike in the slot canyons—that would be a new experience. With permits in hand, we knew we were going to have a unique opportunity to walk into the slot canyons and away from people. But we were not prepared for the water that in some places was neck high. We were game but definitely not prepared so we didn’t complete the one way trek, instead turning around after a long day hike deep into the canyon in calf deep cold waters. Turning around when the sky turned suddenly dark to avoid the real danger of flash floods.
It was super exciting to see bobcat tracks everywhere—especially near these mud watering holes.
We knew that even without training, we could finish this—the course winding through wine country and ending with a wine tasting. We would have fun. And fun we had. Very memorable. Especially running out the night before to get running shoes and blister free socks. We finished and we whined a bit along the way but the wine at the end helped to soften the imagined and real aches.
Grateful:
- My car made it 3300 miles from Boulder to Santa Barbara despite making some noises in Vegas. Highlights include camping in the Paria Wilderness. Walking in the slot canyons in calf deep water— majestic big rock walls all around.
- I arrived in Santa Barbara for a half marathon. Registered with my son over a year ago after at least three postponements. Laughs and memories along the wine country course —oops, we forgot to consider training but finished.
- Time at the beach from sunrise seeing dolphins and pelicans to sunsets and nighttime shooting stars.
- But really, filling up my tank with things that make me happy makes my ability to be in service much more —there really isn’t anything more important in my opinion.
- From this place, my energy sessions are more potent, more resourced, and just more fun. My art and my writing take on a new level of interest. I have more to draw from—more of natures beauty to resource, more colors, more awe and wonder.
And so a poem—
Grateful for family, friends, and passion in my life
Receiving and giving more love
Always open for an adventure that is
Tied into nature and the natural rhythms all around
Interested in manifesting and living in the now/flow
Trusting the ground
Under my feet
Determined to enjoy
Everything and everyone that comes my way
I have gratitude for my life, my experiences. I’m indeed blessed to be able to see beauty all around.