Did someone say Love? What is my love language? What is yours?

Gosh, that is a great question I said to a group of women on a zoom call the other day. It was a topic that was chosen for its ability to provoke some thoughtful conversations and sharing. It did! Setting intentions and exploring the art of good questions/communication can certainly make for more success in all relationships but how do these love languages fit in? Tell me more I say. So I roll up my sleeves and lean in.

I remember stumbling across Dr. Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, but that feels years ago now. I found it fun to revisit the 5— words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts. Uh oh—- what if they all sound good?

But seriously, which ones speak to me now? Let me think about that before I answer too quickly.

The other day I came upon an Instagram post by the Holistic Psychologist. She has this to say about her “new 5” love languages— understanding your partners trauma, nervous system awareness, commitment to each others freedom, knowing when your egos are speaking, non judgement and non interference. Ahh. There is so much to consider in the name of attracting healthy relationships with one self and other. This is a topic that really deserves time and attention.

I believe pulling these love languages out for my review every now and then can reinvigorate or enhance deeper connections with those I care about and that gives me hope. Whether I pick or buy flowers for myself or for someone else, it’s often the gesture of giving and receiving that helps me remember my humanness and my ability to tap into LOVE. From my experience, a random text or phone call, written note; a willingness to offer to clean dishes or fold clothes, a home made meal, an invite to dine or to find a simple activity, or give an ear, a hug or hand hold can go a long way. It can shift my day instantaneously for the better to be on the giving or receiving end of an act of kindness.

If I can identify which love languages are most important for me, I can take better responsibility for how I want to be in relationship. It just makes sense to hone my skill of how I treat my family and friends and how I want to be treated.

It feels good to be seen and honored and loved. I want to think of us supporting each other in these difficult times and especially as the days are getting shorter and the dark feels ever more close.

If you are going through a tough time, please reach out. I can hold space for you or your loved ones in prayers, and I still offer remote personal Reiki sessions.